Pain, Without Love
by ClosetGoth
Summary: Songfic. Soubi thinks about pain, basically. No warnings. ReadReview, constructive criticism extremely welcome. Enjoy!


**A/N: **Rae-chan here! I felt inspired by this song and so I wrote this short little songfic for Loveless. It's about Soubi and his masochistic ways, ha-ha. I wrote it in like ten minutes. I like it, myself, but I'm afraid that a) it doesn't make much sense, b) it's rushed, or both. Oh well. Enjoy, please read and review! Constructive criticisms are very welcome, as are praises and the like. If you're going to flame don't even bother, though. It will just make you look like an uneducated babboon. Read on!

Yes, this is written by ClosetGoth by the way. Not Saki-chan, who is the authoress of _The Love Square_ and _Unreciprocated _which can be found on my profile lol.

**Disclaimer: **LOVELESS and all mentioned characters are the property of Yun Kouga (darn. I wish I owned Kio and Soubi...LOL)  
The song "Pain" belongs to Three Days Grace.

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**Pain, Without Love**

_"Are you going to punish me, Ritsuka?" _

Soubi sighed, shaking his head. He really didn't understand his knew Sacrifice. Ritsuka hated it when Soubi lied to him, or when he told him 'I love you.' But never once had he done anything to really make him stop. Never any discipline, never any true reprimands—usually just a short 'stop it!' and sometimes an adorably angry face. But he had never attempted to punish Soubi for disobeying or embarrassing him.

_**Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

So unlike his elder brother…Seimei would never have let Soubi get away with the things he got away with under Ritsuka's charge. Seimei punished him for the tiniest transgressions, saying that Soubi's disobedience and actions were a reflection onto himself. And he couldn't let himself look bad.

_**You're sick of feeling numb  
You're not the only one  
I'll take you by the hand  
And I'll show you a world that you can understand**_

Ritsuka had never stricken Soubi. Had never slapped him, punched him, kicked him, or even talked down to him. The most he had done, really, was call him a pervert and deny having any feelings for him. And Soubi had had worse in his lifetime.

_**This life is filled with hurt  
When happiness doesn't work  
Trust me and take my hand  
When the lights go out you will understand**_

He didn't understand how two brothers could be so different. Seimei had been cruel, cold-hearted, strict, and a disciplinarian. Soubi was used to being treated harshly, and was unaccustomed to the rather…kind ways Ritsuka interacted with him.

_**Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

Believe it or not, Soubi actually missed Seimei's harsh tone and punishments. Not that he was a masochist—not at all. He may be able to handle pain better than most, but he certainly didn't like it. In fact, he found it to be one of the worst feelings in the world.

_**Anger and agony  
Are better than misery  
Trust me I've got a plan  
When the lights go off you will understand**_

But sometimes…pain is necessary. After all, it's better than nothing, isn't it? It's better than feeling numb and empty. If you feel pain, then you know that you're still alive. You know that you can still feel and understand. You know that you're not completely dead to the world.

_**I know (I know I know I know I know)  
That you're wounded  
You know (You know you know you know you know)  
That I'm here to save you  
You know (You know you know you know you know)  
I'm always here for you  
I know (I know I know I know I know)  
That you'll thank me later**_

And despite the hurt that he had gone through, Seimei had taught him a few useful things. When you're being controlled by someone else, you learn not to disobey them. You learn not to give your opinion unless asked—and even then, you should give the opinion that it expected of you and not one that could make your Master mad.

And you learn that sometimes…pain is the only thing you have to look forward to.

_**Pain, without love  
**__**Pain, can't get enough  
**__**Pain, I like it rough  
**__**'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

_--CG_


End file.
